It is a hard thing to let go sometimes. I find it hard to let go of souvenirs — perhaps because my memory is so poor for events of distant past that I don’t want to forget so I hold onto reminders — whether a piece of paper, a ticket stub, a cup, a hotel key, a book — for those moments when I can look upon these items and remember a moment in my journey. I don’t like letting go of the past and I don’t like letting go of the potential in the future. Even the future of a single day! So I have to admit that I have been guilty of cramming inputs into my day — especially towards day’s end — or being frustrated as the sun sets and my perpetual list remains largely undone — I have a hard time letting go of what I wanted to accomplish! But I am slowly learning, through years of home educating, that God is teaching me every day to let go of the undone and rejoice in both what I have done and what God is going to do.
Every day has 24 hours, and every hour has 60 minutes and every minute has 60 seconds — all our actions every single day fit into this framework, no matter who you are in this world. And the doing that fills these moments, whether in sleeping, taking care of my/our daily needs, or active teaching and learning, are the seeds that we sow in the garden of our lives — we sow them and then give them to God, to do with as He pleases in His infinite wisdom! We put our best efforts into the quality of these seeds, which like the seeds of the earth have an infinite number of possible manifestations, known only to God Almighty. Would that my little seeds be used by Him to bring forth beauty into this world! Beauty of souls is the highest possible aim — Jesus calls me daily, as a Mother, to sow my seeds in the soil of love and then let go, allowing Him to work His will upon their potential. Would that I could embrace this message every second of every day! And so, I am in need of constant reminders for my forgetful self — the forgetful self that several times a day misplaces both things and ideas — to remember the ways of planting in home education that will most likely be blessed with abundant fruit down the road — seeds of little sacrifices and virtues buried in the soil of love — holding back my sharp tongue, relinquishing my desire to sleep, reading to my children, asking them thoughtful questions, teaching them the beauty of the words of Christ, challenging them to sacrifice for their siblings and others, modeling diligence in the smallest tasks, quelling pride and envy, suppressing selfishness and impatience — the list seems endless because the types of seeds we can sow every day is endless. And then, at the end of the day, I let go and let God — the Master Gardener — tend my home garden. And I don’t need to wake up in the middle of the night and help with the watering! He knows what is needed and what remains to be done. I can rest in this absolute Truth and find peace. Then, the sun rises and I begin again. Some days I may actually see a few sprouts; some days I behold the breathtaking blossom of a tiny flower; some days it seems that nothing is growing at all, no matter how hard I look. And those not-seeing-anything-at-all-growing-in-my-garden moments remind me to heed those words of my Savior — “blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.” Yes, let go and let God. I can trust that He will make my garden and yours more beautiful than we could ever have imagined! Lord God, I trust in You!