“And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity. “
I Corinthians 13:13
“As the queen bee never goes out into the fields without being surrounded by all her little subjects, so charity, the queen of virtues, never enters the heart without bringing all the other virtues in her train, exercising and disciplining them, as a captain does his soldiers. But she does not employ them all at the same time, nor all alike, nor in all seasons, nor in every place; for as the just man, like a tree planted by the river side, brings forth fruit in due season, so charity, watering the soul, produces a variety of good works, each one in its proper time.”
Saint Francis de Sales
An Introduction to the Devout Life (1609)
Love is the bedrock upon which all other virtues are built — it is so foundational that nothing good can be done without first being infused with love; I know this because Christ, who is love personified in the truest sense of humanity, is the very cornerstone of my faith and my very existence!
So where do I start cultivating this virtue, queen above all other virtues, among my family? For love is far more deep and dramatic than the words “I love you” can possibly convey. When I truly love , I die to myself; this can be a hard mindset and reality to maintain as the day wears on, becoming so easy to cast aside when I am weak, tired and lonely. Yet, as a mother, God has gifted me with a slew of daily opportunities to put my child’s or my husband’s needs before my own — in other words opportunities to send my “self” to Siberia! But in truth, self doesn’t remain in the cold; when I allow my truest made-in-the-image-of-Christ self to emerge, I feel the smoldering warmth of the reward of sacrifice — only the ice cold bucket of dismay or disappointment drowns out this reality.
So, here is my daily challenge: to transform all the little actions that keep my household running (smoothly only rarely!) into shining pearls . . . from the getting up in the pre-dawn darkness to make my husband a steaming cup of coffee, staying up late to wash those dishes that my far-too-forgetful boys forgot again to clean, tackling that mountain of laundry that never completely disappears; driving here, there and everywhere; continuing to hone my expertise as official lizard-catcher, matchbox-car-racer, fort-builder, homework-helper, tutor, reader, readee, handwriting expert; faux calculus-instructor, main chef, sous chef, dish-washer, etc., etc., etc. How? By embracing the knowledge that I am growing in my ability to love in the mundane and the ordinary tasks of daily life and recognizing that truly nothing is outside the realm of love! And when I do these things from a place of love, I am loving my family in the truest sense of the word. I also remind myself that love doesn’t always need to be accompanied by showy displays of affection, but always desires to walk hand-in-hand with inner joy!